Hangover slightly abating...
This weekend, having had the same conversation i have had every week for over a year, decided to take Brian at his word, it really was time to move on.... Brian, the man, i haven't been seeing most Fridays for the past 18 months, because that would have been a relationship/affair, and he definitely wasn't having one of those..oh no.
Took myself to Salsa class, and shared the lesson with one woman who definitely hadn't started life as a woman, and the only two men, were with their future wives, but would have held no interest for me, even if they had been single...I cut a lonely figure, short, in need of shifting a few pounds (14 to be precise) slightly over dressed, because i didn't know what one wore to Salsa classes, but not in the shoe department - mental note to self...must by pair of heels for next lesson, second note to self... must find more dynamic class.
Texted Brian to make fun of myself about the cliched class, but also to let him know that i was getting back out there....at station waiting for train after the class, very pretty 20 something young girl came and stood very close to me...i asked if she was ok, but she was being followed by creepy man, realised she saw me as a mother figure to hide behind, ego took second body blow of the day....Brian's next text asked if i wanted to "come up 2 his" I am not sure if I was enboldened by having made first step to newly found complete singledom, whether at 43 and having done an hours training session earlier in the day the hour salsa had taken it out of me, whether i wanted to wake up in my own home, whether by now i knew him well enough to know that he would have consumed a bottle of cheap red (it was only the good stuff when i bought it - because truthfully a man who has to justify his spending to someone else is not going to lavish you with expensive vino) and fancied a shag or whether it was that i was wearing the equivelant of Bridget Jones big pants, but for second time only in our 18 month non affair i declined. I felt emotionally exhausted.
Many text sallied back and forth, and one in particular that he took offense to, but in my defence ....no seriously i meant it to be nasty and nasty it was...rule number one of the other woman, never knock his relationship with the first woman in his life, and no i dont mean his mother.
One late night tearful phonecall later I resovled to truly move on...it had helped me adjust to life without my husband, partner of 17 years and father of my children... but it was hardly a satifying relationship in any area except one, and i learned that at least one man, although technically not free to do so, found me attractive enough to not have to wait for the darkness of under the duvet.. and surfice it to say when i hear "mirror in the bathroom" on the radio it has a whole 'nother meaning for me...
So having done the salsa thing i moved onto the next cliche of spending money, took myself shopping and called in on Daisy on the way home to get approval for my purchases....
She having accidentally misplaced Andrew and being all dressed up with no place to go, proved to be my saviour from a lonely night in front of a re re re re run of friends....
I rushed home to put on some slap and off we went, first pub, as i eyed up three single men, Daisy pointed out that we were the oldest people in there by a country mile and should move on...Next pub we weren't the oldest, nor the fattest and certainly not the ugliest but we were the only two, or so it seemed not entwined... Daisy has told me i need to smile more at men, so as she orderd the drinks i smiled at the bar men, but apparently i need only smile at men who don't look at me as a mother figure.. i think that in the 17 years of my relationship time has stood still and i have forgotten that i and the men that i should be attracted to are now older... i still look at the men who i would have found attractive when i was 27 ... i can't judge ages, and their smiles are, i think just out of sympathy or wondering if i am a friend of their mother's that they should be polite to. I am going to browse magazines and re acquaint myself with what a 45 year old man looks like (with his clothes on).
Next bar Daisy went for it... boldy accosting the two men standing nearest to us.. Daisy was honing in on mr potato head, leaving me to shout at his deaf friend, this is sadly not a joke, the loudest bar in the area, i was trying to chat up an over 6ft deaf bloke....being only a bit over 5ft this was more than i could cope with and edged away leaving Daisy to hold court.
I then managed to totally cock up the opportunity to talk to very good looking sober man, in complete posession of his aural faculties. Smarting from Daisy's repremand, my opening gambit was "how old are you?" It all went down hill from there..I don't think suggesting that he is looked after by his rich "mummy and daddy" was a particularly smart line either.....Slurring my words and asking his name several times, also clearly endeared me to him.
When Daisy announced we were getting a cab home, mr smart 31 year old looked as relieved as mr potato head looked sad....
Falling into a cab, we laughed all the way home, amused the cab driver ( well we thought we were funny) woke up having missed my yoga class, walked to pick up car which i had misplaced, a night for losses as Daisy had accidentally lost her credit card..which we only discovered when booking our next night out... speed dating here we come, hopefully we will be slightly more succesful at that and more successful than my friend who was forcibly removed, when frustration got the better of him, for launching himself across the table at number 4 to try and snog her in the alloted 3 mins...
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Daisy 1
Welcome to our new and exciting blog spot. This spot is dedicated to the adventures and experiences of all 40 somethings, starting again.
We are Daisy 42 and Ruby 43. Two kids each and living somewhere in SW London
Daisy - Professional, married for 15 years, although many of them are a bit of a blur as was buried under a pile of washing.
Ruby - Professional, married for 15 years, appears too hungover to respond at the moment, but will fill you in later. Oh and she is a back seat typist!
We would like to talk about our forays into single life and the events and situations we have found in. We will tell you about ups and downs of our dating, socialising, and generally surviving!
Right, here goes, story number 1. Daisy goes forth.
Newly single and out for some fun, I decided to attend a racing event. Unfortunately I accidentally picked up a most unsavory man. I was not quite sure how unsavory, and without anything else to do the following day, arranged date with said man.
The first date was very nerve wracking as I had not been on a date for 15 years (not counting the last time I split up with my husband and also accidentally went on a date with an equally flawed character, but that's another story).
The man turned up early and was there to greet me. He was not as bad as I had at first thought, so the beer goggles were operating ok. I spent a most enjoyable evening listening to many and varied funny anecdotes, and even managed to speak once or twice. My face did hurt though, false grinning is very taxing.
As sex life in the marriage was very dismal, and I had pre-menstruation madness, somehow between leaving the pub and getting to my vehicle, I decided that it would be a good idea to engage in afters in the car. I accidentally stopped thinking with my brain, and cant even use the excuse that I had had too much to drink. Even Katie did not put out with Dwight that quickly. Bowled over by my charms, said man eagerly phoned me when I got home to tell me what a fantastic time he had had. I was still reeling and feeling deep inner shame, but still managed to organise another date.
This unfortunate state of affairs lasted about 2 months, during which time I discovered that this man in particular, like to talk about himself, but rarely want to find out about my life. He waited for me to text him, and if I didn't text back promptly hewanted to know why. However if I texted him, he thought it ok not to respond. He didnt like it when I changed plans, despite the fact that I have kids and the goal posts often change. And this is the worst part - he was a coward.
This sorry state of affairs, or very very long drawn out one night stand ended rather abruptly this week. Upon reflection, Ruby strongly suspects another woman was involved. I saw man, lets call him Andrew, on Monday night. He had been away and wanted to give me some gifts from his long weekend. I was overjoyed to recieve a hideous brown drinking vessel with a leaping dolphin on it. I dearly hoped it was an ironic offering, but did not dare ask! These gifts in no way were representative of the departure shop in Spain when you want to use up a few Euros, oh no. I stayed for a couple of hours, glad I did as I might have missed several episodes of Simpsons! Andrew asked if I would be able to see him on Saturday evening. I mentioned that i was looking after my friend's children, and that I probably would not be able to. I then rearranged my plans and texted him the next day to tell him. I recieved a rather odd text, informing me that he too had made some arrangements, and that he would make his excuses and call me on the day to let me know. I thought this odd, but in hind sight, I think he got himself into a double booking dialemma. Who to go out with ??? Anyway I called him, no answer, texted him, no reply and then finally gave up. Have not heard from him, and am highly unlikely to ever again.
Clues to two timing : rose in fridge - what bloke drinks rose!
talking about messy break ups with girls mm thats a big red flag
yawning and giving the appearance of tiredness - want you to go away, or really are tired because they are screwing two women when they are too old to do so without suffering.
Oh and not wanting to make firm arrangements for dates (because they have to check it out with third party)
Clues to being a jerk
Always talking about self
Telling you how funny everyone finds them
Refering to you as MILF
talking to you about porn as if you give a shit
taking you to cheap restaurants
making you call them back because they are on a company mobile
Watching children's TV when you come to visit.
groper in public - nasty!
These may seem very obvious points and no I dont have mug tattooed on my head, but when you are back out there you will eagerly overlook massive character flaws in order to enjoy going out with someone - or getting some - be warned, these men trawl bars, pubs, infact all public areas. Like terrorists, they look like you and I (except they are men) They will not give themselves away easily, and the best rule is DONT SLEEP WITH THEM, dont do it even if you have the pre-menstrual horn/ haven't had it in years madness about you, its not worth it girls!
Incidentally, went out last night and met a lovely man (unfortunately he had a head like a potato) but was actually interesting and interested so they are not all bad. It may well be that men with heads like potatoes are generally nicer because they, like all root vegetables, have to try hard to maintain a person's interest!
We are Daisy 42 and Ruby 43. Two kids each and living somewhere in SW London
Daisy - Professional, married for 15 years, although many of them are a bit of a blur as was buried under a pile of washing.
Ruby - Professional, married for 15 years, appears too hungover to respond at the moment, but will fill you in later. Oh and she is a back seat typist!
We would like to talk about our forays into single life and the events and situations we have found in. We will tell you about ups and downs of our dating, socialising, and generally surviving!
Right, here goes, story number 1. Daisy goes forth.
Newly single and out for some fun, I decided to attend a racing event. Unfortunately I accidentally picked up a most unsavory man. I was not quite sure how unsavory, and without anything else to do the following day, arranged date with said man.
The first date was very nerve wracking as I had not been on a date for 15 years (not counting the last time I split up with my husband and also accidentally went on a date with an equally flawed character, but that's another story).
The man turned up early and was there to greet me. He was not as bad as I had at first thought, so the beer goggles were operating ok. I spent a most enjoyable evening listening to many and varied funny anecdotes, and even managed to speak once or twice. My face did hurt though, false grinning is very taxing.
As sex life in the marriage was very dismal, and I had pre-menstruation madness, somehow between leaving the pub and getting to my vehicle, I decided that it would be a good idea to engage in afters in the car. I accidentally stopped thinking with my brain, and cant even use the excuse that I had had too much to drink. Even Katie did not put out with Dwight that quickly. Bowled over by my charms, said man eagerly phoned me when I got home to tell me what a fantastic time he had had. I was still reeling and feeling deep inner shame, but still managed to organise another date.
This unfortunate state of affairs lasted about 2 months, during which time I discovered that this man in particular, like to talk about himself, but rarely want to find out about my life. He waited for me to text him, and if I didn't text back promptly hewanted to know why. However if I texted him, he thought it ok not to respond. He didnt like it when I changed plans, despite the fact that I have kids and the goal posts often change. And this is the worst part - he was a coward.
This sorry state of affairs, or very very long drawn out one night stand ended rather abruptly this week. Upon reflection, Ruby strongly suspects another woman was involved. I saw man, lets call him Andrew, on Monday night. He had been away and wanted to give me some gifts from his long weekend. I was overjoyed to recieve a hideous brown drinking vessel with a leaping dolphin on it. I dearly hoped it was an ironic offering, but did not dare ask! These gifts in no way were representative of the departure shop in Spain when you want to use up a few Euros, oh no. I stayed for a couple of hours, glad I did as I might have missed several episodes of Simpsons! Andrew asked if I would be able to see him on Saturday evening. I mentioned that i was looking after my friend's children, and that I probably would not be able to. I then rearranged my plans and texted him the next day to tell him. I recieved a rather odd text, informing me that he too had made some arrangements, and that he would make his excuses and call me on the day to let me know. I thought this odd, but in hind sight, I think he got himself into a double booking dialemma. Who to go out with ??? Anyway I called him, no answer, texted him, no reply and then finally gave up. Have not heard from him, and am highly unlikely to ever again.
Clues to two timing : rose in fridge - what bloke drinks rose!
talking about messy break ups with girls mm thats a big red flag
yawning and giving the appearance of tiredness - want you to go away, or really are tired because they are screwing two women when they are too old to do so without suffering.
Oh and not wanting to make firm arrangements for dates (because they have to check it out with third party)
Clues to being a jerk
Always talking about self
Telling you how funny everyone finds them
Refering to you as MILF
talking to you about porn as if you give a shit
taking you to cheap restaurants
making you call them back because they are on a company mobile
Watching children's TV when you come to visit.
groper in public - nasty!
These may seem very obvious points and no I dont have mug tattooed on my head, but when you are back out there you will eagerly overlook massive character flaws in order to enjoy going out with someone - or getting some - be warned, these men trawl bars, pubs, infact all public areas. Like terrorists, they look like you and I (except they are men) They will not give themselves away easily, and the best rule is DONT SLEEP WITH THEM, dont do it even if you have the pre-menstrual horn/ haven't had it in years madness about you, its not worth it girls!
Incidentally, went out last night and met a lovely man (unfortunately he had a head like a potato) but was actually interesting and interested so they are not all bad. It may well be that men with heads like potatoes are generally nicer because they, like all root vegetables, have to try hard to maintain a person's interest!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)